How can you begin to imagine a real life with this man if you’ve never met his kids and have no idea what kind of effect they’d have on you and your relationship?How can you have a clue what a future with him would be like if you don’t know where his relationship with his ex in-laws is going and how you might fit into that dynamic? Will his former in-laws always be part of his life? Are you willing to marry someone who will forever be so closely tied to his ex? You don’t know that your future together would be amazing.How can you “know” your future together would be “amazing” when there are so many shifting and uncertain variables (Does he want more kids? You have no what it would be like, and the fact that you say you’d like to marry this guy without having a sense of what his life is like shows you either have an immature view of married life, or you’re so desperate to find your husband you’ve convinced yourself that this guy, who has so many unresolved issues he cries when discussing his ex-wife, is the one for you.Either way, this doesn’t spell “happy ending.” Put the brakes on imagining your future together and, instead, deal with the present. You can read about me here, peruse the archives here and read popular posts here.We get along great and I am head-over-heels in love with him.
One of the boys is having a birthday in August that I will not be a part of, but all of the ex-family will. They never went out, and they only associated with her family.He’s on his own timetable here, and understandably so. Sometimes we meet the right person at the wrong time.He has a lot of “baggage,” as you say, and there’s lots and lots of unpacking to do before he’ll have the emotional space for the kind of relationship you want with him. Sometimes we fall in love with someone who isn’t emotionally available.He told me I would not be going with him because his boys will be there. I already have anxiety building, and he knows this. He says we are good and solid and are going to be just fine.I just want to push him over that hump, or ledge, so he can feel love again and let his worlds merge together.