My third preface is that this article is, by design, focused on the younger woman/older man dynamic, because that’s what so many of you have written to us about, and it’s so powerful a cultural trope as to have spawned novels, movies, stereotypes, and clichés.
And the fact that adults and males have social/cultural/economic/etc.
I mean, I know: some cute college guy who spells his texts properly and actually seems to wash his face (be still my beating heart) can be pretty tough crush competition for the bros in your 10th grade math class.
And if there’s one thing of which I’m certain about you Rookies, it’s this: to borrow a compliment frequently expressed to you by your grandpa/kindly next-door neighbor/best friend’s mom, YOU ARE VERY MATURE FOR YOUR AGE.
Acting on those feelings, however, is more complicador.
Which isn’t to say that there aren’t plenty of loving, mutually respectful relationships between people with long gaps between their birth years.
(Um, probably don’t do this, you guys.) It wasn’t like I was stupid. But I didn’t have enough experience or wisdom (as opposed to intelligence) to completely understand what I was getting into.
But if you’re looking to get into one of these situations, I’m guessing you don’t need to be told about the alluring/fun parts, and if you’re writing to us about it, it’s clear that you are weighing your decision carefully, and not being passively swept away or coerced.
Before I get into the real nitty gritty, though, a few caveats.
First, being attracted to older guys is completely and totally normal.
When I first started getting involved with older men, I was all “age ain’t nothin’ but a number.” But that is actually not the case, and the fact that I know that now but didn’t then proves my point.
(Also, did you know that that song was written for Aaliyah by R.