10 rules to dating my daughter

Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early." Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls.

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.

Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. I really like the part about I have a shotgun, a shovel and five acres out back of the house.   Oh, here in North Idaho many practice the three S's:   You know, shoot, shovel and shut-up!

I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. It's a rather universal language in many parts of the country!   We have the opportunity for them to go to an excellent private Christian school, they are really well rooted in the Lord, love our church youth group and youth pastor, and have a great peer group that polices their own ranks wonderfully.

This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.

10 rules for dating my daughter Get a job Understand I don�t like you I�m everywhere You hurt her, I hurt you Be home 30 minutes early Get a lawyer If you lie to me, I will find out She�s my princess, not your conquest I don�t mind going back to jail Whatever you do to her, I will do to you T Shirt. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been.Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi.I walked down, opened the gate with my german shepard next to me looking real hard at him.I then proceded to open the hood of his truck and rip his horn wires out and gave them to him, along with instructions on how to get back to the hi-way.

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